Bebes in Chanel! Ryan McGinley.

The Fret - An Amazingly Short Story

caglaozbek: you’ve read the museum note to mariliza and duygu on my tumblr, right

so we went to the museum without really knowing what was on

the whole experience was so, so bizarre

turns out they have a robert frank exhibition, a huge one

Riaz: shiiit

caglaozbek: I got so excited, so excited

Riaz: that’s the best kind of surprise

caglaozbek: and when I entered the robert frank section

after the first two photographs, I felt.. I don’t really know how to explain it

suddenly I felt like shit

that’s probably what I meant by getting shattered by the physicality of things in the tumblr post, I felt.. so self conscious

as if the photographs were, in some way, missing me

they seemed so unbearable to look at, they were so good

and then I started walking really fast

honestly, I was about to cry

and then, in the middle of the corridor I just couldn’t take it anymore and left

I’m being completely honest and I’m not telling you this because it sounds.. good or anything

I couldn’t finish the exhibition

I know how truly stupid that sounds

Riaz: have you heard of stendhal syndrome?

caglaozbek: no, but let me finish, so I left, right

and I’m thinking why am I even leaving, this is so stupid, he’s one of my favorite photographers ever

it’s so.. pointless to leave

it’s been what, two weeks, and I still.. maybe I thought I could never, truly own those photographs, maybe I couldn’t bear sharing them with tourists

Riaz: Stendhal syndrome, Stendhal’s syndrome, Hyperkulturemia, or Florence syndrome, is a psychosomatic illness that causes rapid heartbeat, dizziness, confusion and even hallucinations when an individual is exposed to art, usually when the art is particularly beautiful or a large amount of art is in a single place

caglaozbek: maybe with this 93 numara deal, my experience with visuals have become bizarrely singular

…

Riaz: the wiki page is worth a hit for paris syndrome

caglaozbek: that sounds exactly like it

but it doesn’t explain why I felt like such an underachiever too

Riaz: that’s separate I guess

sorry for always trying to have an answer.

(I usually detest this kind of intimacy but I truly had no patience to write about it again, plus it did seem meaningful to put it here. I’m suspicious that 93 Numara might secretly be costing me my normalcy. I might be in need of a break - And some more credible worries in life. Honestly, I already feel like an asshole, even before publishing this. But The Fret is real.)

Portrait of the Boy, Eutyches.

Everett Shinn, The Orchestra Pit, 1906.

David Hlynsky, MacDonalds, 1990.

The Artist in His Museum, Charles Willson Peale. 1822.

..ve Joan Crawford!

Safran, falu kırmızısı. Bugün sarı kırmızı, olsun bari.

Aybars! (Oldu artık)

Moon model, 1898

Bir Best Of derlemesi hiç bu kadar seksist olmamıştı.

Charles Robinson, illustration for The Remarkable Rocket by Wilde.

Chase William Merritt, Ring Toss. 1896.

Ben bugünün Cadılar Bayramı filan olduğunu, unutmuşum. Akşamüstü dışardaki amansız uğultudan, biraz da okuduğum kitaptan içim geçip uyuyakalınca, ısrarla çalan kapıya gözlerim yarı kapalı ve sürünerek ulaştım. Açmamla beraber kapıda üç vampir, iki zombi, bir kaç tane çizgi film kahramanı ve bir tane ne olduğunu çıkaramadığım kostümlü çocuk (Yüzünü sarımsı, yeşilimsi bir renge boyamıştı, belki de bir geceliğine Haldun Dormen’di) yüzüme çığlık çığlığa bağırınca ben de kıyır kıyır bir sesle çınlayarak geriye zıpladım. Yüzü boyasızken de sevsem mi ürksem mi bir türlü karar veremediğim çocuklar, uykulu bir Sadako’nun ödünü patlattılar diye gülmekten öldüler tabii. Sonra mutfaktan bulduğum bir kutu Mentos’un üzerine saldırırlarken, arkada duran ve boyu yüzünden kutuya erişemeyen aksi suratlı, altı-yedi yaşlarındaki vampir kız “Hayvanlık yapmayın ya!” diye bağırdı. Ben bu hakkını arayan huysuzu eve sokup şekere boğmayı hayal ederken, aynı sırtlan çığlıklarıyla yok oldular. Bir kaç saat bir grup cüce daha kapımın önüne gelse de hepsini korkutup kekeme etsem diye tetikte bekledim, gelmediler. Fakat ben o cazgırı bulup dost olmaya kararlıyım, paylaşacak çok şeyimiz olabilir.